When we got to the pay
station the volunteer saw me in my dress, congratulated me and let us in for
free. This made me cry a little. We pulled into the parking lot and Sean was already
waiting in his handsome navy blue suit.
Our family and friends
slowly began to trickle in. My parents had not arrived yet , so we decided to
exchange vows while we waited. Kandice (who is more than just photographer,
i.e. hero), Sean and I walked toward our ceremony spot right at the lake and
read each other our prepared letters. I was so shocked to hear how tender
Sean's letter was. I can remember perfectly, his quiet voice over the
blustering wind that day reading the most beautifully prepared words. I read
his vows from time to time and it brings me back to this magical day.
I felt a huge wave of relief after we shared this secret moment together. It
felt so quiet and peaceful and truly us. It was the one moment that day that I
felt really belonged to us. Those five minutes only existed for me and him.
We returned to our
company and with perfect timing my side of the family arrived and we assembled
in a group and walked back to the lake shore. This was another one of the
moments that I hope to never forget. We didn't have a isle to walk down so we
walked as a group to the ceremony spot. I was in the front with my sisters and
I'm just realizing now that Sean was not anywhere near me but it felt right. Sean
and I began as two separate people.
Our years of
partnership have not been held together just by us. It was absolutely a
collective, community brought relationship. Each person there has given us
advice, helped us when we struggled, celebrated milestones...and walking all
together was a very appropriate literal and symbolic scene. And I loved it.
Sean's father married
us with his beautiful heartfelt words. The ceremony included Native American
prayers and his own reflections and I still can't get over how wonderful it
was. The sun was so strong and bright and felt so good on my bare shoulders. I felt so connected with nature and with my people. It really was so awesome.
Afterwards, we enjoyed
each other's company as we had a little breakfast at the picnic tables. It
wasn't fancy and I don't remember significant romantic moments with Sean but we
had such a happy time.
Other things to note
and life lessons that were learned:
Sean was almost
pulled into the lake by our INSANE dog. Literally insane. It was so funny and
he was such a hassle but I'm so glad Louie was with us. Lesson 1: Do more leash training with your dog if planning on
bringing him/her to special event.
Right before we
started the ceremony a couple hikers passed by us and it was so Colorado.
I did my hair exactly how I said I wouldn't. UP! With my ears exposed! But it's been good therapy because ears are ears and I shouldn't care! (I do. still.) Lesson 2: You think you've done a good job hiding your ears all your life, but really, everyone is used to them and no one thought your ears resembled yoda, and still worrying about it makes you look stupid.
I did not think about
how much I hated my dress. It was fine, even when it fell off down to my belly button and exposed my
AWESOME sticky bra thing. Lesson 3: Even
at weddings (which innately seem superficial) no one cares, not even you, it's
just a good time.
I still am having a weird time grasping the idea of what marriage means to us.
I think because of our unmarried identity for so long, now pronouncing our
marriage almost feels like saying that it is more special now or something. And
it isn't. Frankly, it's the same.
I've been doing a lot
of over analyzing about the idea of marriage and have forgotten to just enjoy
us. Whether marriage is a thing or not, I love Sean and we are happy and that
is all that should matter. Can you tell I'm majoring in anthropology and that I
love social theory!
