wedding story (for posterity purposes)

I spent the night before with a few of my girlfriends in a hotel room. I shared a bed with Chelsea on a pull out couch and probably had the best night's sleep I've ever had. I awoke early in the morning and now recalling I hope I showered but I truly cannot remember. My mom and her cousin came in the morning and fixed themselves on the ground in their pajamas and worked on a flower crown while gabby curled my hair. I didn't even think to bring hair bands or bobby pins but luckily my sister and friends were prepared where I was lacking. Nothing would have been accomplished without any of these girls. I put my dress on and with Louie in tow, picked up coffee from a local coffee shop and Katie drove us up to the Indian peaks wilderness. 

When we got to the pay station the volunteer saw me in my dress, congratulated me and let us in for free. This made me cry a little. We pulled into the parking lot and Sean was already waiting in his handsome navy blue suit.

Our family and friends slowly began to trickle in. My parents had not arrived yet , so we decided to exchange vows while we waited. Kandice (who is more than just photographer, i.e. hero), Sean and I walked toward our ceremony spot right at the lake and read each other our prepared letters. I was so shocked to hear how tender Sean's letter was. I can remember perfectly, his quiet voice over the blustering wind that day reading the most beautifully prepared words. I read his vows from time to time and it brings me back to this magical day. I felt a huge wave of relief after we shared this secret moment together. It felt so quiet and peaceful and truly us. It was the one moment that day that I felt really belonged to us. Those five minutes only existed for me and him.

We returned to our company and with perfect timing my side of the family arrived and we assembled in a group and walked back to the lake shore. This was another one of the moments that I hope to never forget. We didn't have a isle to walk down so we walked as a group to the ceremony spot. I was in the front with my sisters and I'm just realizing now that Sean was not anywhere near me but it felt right. Sean and I began as two separate people.

Our years of partnership have not been held together just by us. It was absolutely a collective, community brought relationship. Each person there has given us advice, helped us when we struggled, celebrated milestones...and walking all together was a very appropriate literal and symbolic scene. And I loved it.

Sean's father married us with his beautiful heartfelt words. The ceremony included Native American prayers and his own reflections and I still can't get over how wonderful it was. The sun was so strong and bright and felt so good on my bare shoulders. I felt so connected with nature and with my people. It really was so awesome.

Afterwards, we enjoyed each other's company as we had a little breakfast at the picnic tables. It wasn't fancy and I don't remember significant romantic moments with Sean but we had such a happy time.

Other things to note and life lessons that were learned:

Sean was almost pulled into the lake by our INSANE dog. Literally insane. It was so funny and he was such a hassle but I'm so glad Louie was with us. Lesson 1: Do more leash training with your dog if planning on bringing him/her to special event.

Right before we started the ceremony a couple hikers passed by us and it was so Colorado.

I did my hair exactly how I said I wouldn't. UP! With my ears exposed! But it's been good therapy because ears are ears and I shouldn't care! (I do. still.) Lesson 2: You think you've done a good job hiding your ears all your life, but really, everyone is used to them and no one thought your ears resembled yoda, and still worrying about it makes you look stupid.

I did not think about how much I hated my dress. It was fine, even when it fell off down to my belly button and exposed my AWESOME sticky bra thing. Lesson 3: Even at weddings (which innately seem superficial) no one cares, not even you, it's just a good time.

I still am having a weird time grasping the idea of what marriage means to us. I think because of our unmarried identity for so long, now pronouncing our marriage almost feels like saying that it is more special now or something. And it isn't. Frankly, it's the same.

I've been doing a lot of over analyzing about the idea of marriage and have forgotten to just enjoy us. Whether marriage is a thing or not, I love Sean and we are happy and that is all that should matter. Can you tell I'm majoring in anthropology and that I love social theory!